Things have been crazy busy for
me for a change. It’s been a nice change though. I signed on with a background
agent and have been getting work every day. I spent most of last week filming a
Disney movie, and then I did one day on Degrassi. I also had an audition for a
commercial through my principle agent that went quite well. I’m starting to
feel a lot less stressed about money. Now the challenge is to find time to
still do all of the work needed for these internships as well as the background
work. I do admit though, It’s been a wonderful feeling leaving the house for
work every day. I’m also already confirmed for 3 days this week (Tuesday to
Thursday), so it seems like things are going to be steady for a while; such a
relief. This week I’m going to have to become nocturnal, since I have evening
shoots from Tuesday to Thursday. It’s going to be interesting. I should be
trying to sleep right now actually so that I have energy later on tonight. I
attempted to stay up last night and sleep all day today, but I didn’t quite
make it. After the shoot tonight though I will come home and crash and then I’ll
maneuver myself into “night shift” mode. What I’m wondering about is whether I’ll
end up doing the evening on the movie set and then the day on Degrassi on
Friday. It would end up being exhausting, but probably a good way to re-set my
clock. I guess we’ll see how that goes.
The work is definitely something
I’ve been very thankful for. I’m also really enjoying the social aspect of it. It’s
been fantastic meeting so many new people instead of sitting at home every day
applying for work and feeling lonely. I think my circle of friends has tripled
in the last month. Despite the early morning calls and late evening wrap times,
I am having the time of my life. I spend almost every day laughing and just
having a good time. I’ve definitely needed more of that in my life. Keeping
busy also helps to distract me from the things that aren’t exactly working out
right now, but it’s a very welcome distraction.
The other blessing lately has
been my family. I actually spent the long weekend at home with my family and
had a great time. We ended up having a bbq with some extended family
celebrating my cousin’s graduation, and it was really nice to all be together
for that. I was able to spend time with my other cousin, he husband, and her
beautiful baby boy – which always proves to be a good time – and even spent
some quality girl time chatting and shopping with my mother and my aunt. I am
learning more and more that family is something very special and not to be
taken for granted. These are the people that will be in your life no matter
what, will love you no matter what, and will be there for you when you need
them (for the most part). As crazy as they can make me sometimes, I appreciate
them so much, especially now.
All in all, I would say that I’m
just taking things one day at a time and enjoying them. I may not have an
understanding or a feeling of direction and purpose, which was a primary factor
in my unhappiness before, but I am starting to realize that’s ok. Things have
sort of just been happening lately, things I haven’t planned myself, and they
have been good. I’m not sure when I’ll actually get into my field, but as for
right now I’m going to enjoy the ride. Who knows where this road will lead. I've spent way too much time worrying and stressing, and really for what? I want to enjoy my life instead of worrying and stressing my way through it. So now is the time for fun and enjoyment, since I'll never have this chance again once I do have that full-time job. The rest will figure itself out, or I will figure it out as I go....but I'm not going to worry about it now....I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Ultimately, when it's all said and done, all I want out of my life is for it to be a happy one, and if I can learn to be happy in whatever circumstance I'm in or with whatever I'm doing, then my life is fulfilled.
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