So I have been MIA for a bit, as I have
been sick and in general busy with work, or busy feeling sorry for myself. Ya
ya, I know….boo hoo. But really, nothing is happening on the job front (although
I was contacted about going for an interview for an unpaid internship with a
magazine…..oh yay, student loans would love this prospect), love life front, or
anything else really interesting, so I felt that I really had nothing to share.
But since I don’t want everyone to leave…..not that I think there are many
people reading my blog….and since I would like to finish what I started, here
is yet another post.
Aside from all of my dreams and
ambitions, the one thing that seems to be classically me is the way I continually
embarrass myself unaware….and that has not changed. I have two instances for
you that make me the quintessential example of Murphy’s law for embarrassment.
1
1. Ho
ho hosiery
Beginning my new
retail job (or really, let’s call it what it is – my imminent career in retail)
I had a new look with my new job. Because this is a higher-end retail job, I am
required to look a lot more formal than I have in the past. Bust out the panty
hose! So….because I was wearing panty hose day in day out, I began to have runs
and pulls in my panty hose and was reduced to fewer and fewer candidates that
would not look sloppy on the job. For the record, I hate panty hose and I hate
that no one has invented one yet that doesn’t snag or run. Or perhaps they have
and I’m just too cheap to invest in them. At any rate, I have a bottom of the
ladder retail job that doesn’t pay me enough to invest in expensive panty hose
anyway. Nevertheless, I digress. So….where was I? Oh yes, ruined panty hose. So
I discovered that every pair I owned had holes and runs except my thigh-high
pair. You may see where this is going, but I’m going to tell you anyway. So I
decide to wear this pair….this one and only pair…..to a job that requires me to
stand and run around all day long. If any of you have ever worn thigh-high panty
hose, you may realize that these should be primarily worn at a job where you
will be predominantly sitting all day. And for good reason. In little under an
hour of walking around, my panty hose gave way. I was awkwardly walking trying
to keep the one leg from falling down, to no success. Luckily I was early for
my shift so I was just walking around the mall instead of trying to help
customers (that would have been worse and even more mortifying). However, the
one leg did completely give way right in front of the hot mall security guard
who 100% noticed and commented. I ran to Shopper’s Drugmart and bought a
regular pair of panty hose and successfully made it through my shift without
any more embarrassment. I can never look that security guard in the eye though
ever again.
2
2. Ha ha hairdo
So….as my crappy
job in Toronto is literally a big joke, I have started using my time more
wisely. When I do have to go into the city, I make it worth my while by meeting
up with friends and staying the night. Anyway, the last time I spent the night
in Toronto I stayed with a loved long time friend and ex-roommate and had a
great night going to see Midnight’s Children and in general catching up. Her
new place, however, was quite small, but comfortable, but (and here is the
important part) was lacking in mirrors. Oh yes….you definitely know where this
is going. So, after showering the next morning I threw my hair up, got myself ready for the day,
and we headed off to get coffee. Because we were in a no-parking area, I
offered to quickly run in to get us coffee and then we could go on our way. So
I did. While waiting for my coffee I notice a couple of people looking at me.
Specifically a really cute guy who was taking care of his baby boy. What is it
about men with children by the way? They look so attractive. Perhaps it’s the
fact that you know they can commit and are actually parent material. I don’t
know….but it’s hot. Anyway, I digress yet again. So, I’m trying not to think
too much about the attention I’m getting from this cute stranger, and then I
start slyly wiping my hand across my face thinking maybe I have something on my
face. Nothing doing. I leave the coffee shop, give my friend her cup, and we go
on our way. Walking through Toronto the whole day, these looks continue. People
look, make eye contact, smile, and then go on their way. I start thinking “do I
look good today or something in a way that I’m unaware of? Why is everyone so
interested in making eye contact and smiling at me today?” After my entire day
of walking around town, and meeting with a client by the way, a really big
fashion design company, I finally get around to having a late lunch at a
restaurant and finally look in the mirror. I have curled up hair on both sides
of my head that look like little devil horns. Seriously!?!?!?!?! Could no one
have said something to me all day about it!!!!! And here I was thinking that I
must look pretty cute today or something, and everyone is laughing at my
unfortunate hair situation. Ah such is life…..or at least my life.
So there you have it. Two rather embarrassing
moments of my life as of late. Although there are many more (since these things
happen on a daily basis for me) these were the two that presently come to mind.
I hope they made you laugh.
Murphy's Law: anything that can go wrong will.
