Is That Why They Call It The Human Race?

As I was walking to catch my bus today to go to work this morning, I finally spotted the woodpecker that I have heard for days now. It’s funny because I always hear him, but I haven’t been able to see him. Today though, I finally caught a glimpse of the little guy. I was pretty amazed that such a small bird could make such a loud noise. He seriously wakes up the neighborhood with his little construction work. It was nice to finally put a face to the noise. I’ve always found these birds to be kind of fascinated. I also always wonder how they don't constantly have a headache, but I guess that's a different conversation altogether.

So why am I telling you about this bird? Well, for starters they are just really cool and I like that we have one on our street. But, more specifically, this is about time management. Although I am in general a punctual person and don’t make a habit of showing up late, there are times when I cut things pretty close. Last week I spent most of it rushing to get to work and then rushing to catch the train home. I hadn’t spotted my little friend because I was always running, in a hurry to get somewhere, I had no time to stop and appreciate the things around me.

This morning, however, I was early, so I was able to take my time. I not only got a chance to finally see the little noisy neighbour, but actually had a pleasant conversation with a neighbour walking her dog. There are so many things you can miss out on when you are running late. What is more, I just kept on thinking throughout the day how much more pleasant my day was without all of the rushing. I was in such a good mood and I didn’t feel anxious and I wasn’t upset at the person in front of me who just wasn’t walking fast enough. I wonder how much unnecessary stress, anxiety, and anger we bring on ourselves simply because we haven’t given ourselves enough time in the morning to get everything done that we need to. I even had time this morning to have a proper breakfast and a full cup of tea. That never happens!

If I know that a pleasant morning can change my entire day, merely by changing my mood and outlook, why do I not ensure that this is part of my regular practice? Is it really worth spending an extra 10 minutes in bed when the result is an entire day of anxiety? Definitely not. Although we can’t help running late and rushing from time to time, I’m sure that it is much better for our physical and mental health if we just slow things down and do them in a timely fashion. And really, the stress free morning actually helped me deal with the jam packed and at moments stressful day at work. Believe it or not, even once I was done work and coming home, I didn’t feel as utterly exhausted as I usually do. I think that once you take a lot of the stress and anxiety out of it, that sheer feeling of being exhausted from the day dissipates.

And even still, maybe I just had a good day, but I think I’m going to work this into my schedule. I could use more days filled with stress-free walks to work and taking time to look at birds and talk with strangers. I see too many people in the city looking so angry and worn-out all the time. Perhaps a simple solution (though not a cure-all) is just to better manage our time so that we can slow things down. Being part of the human race doesn’t mean we need to hustle and bustle our way throughout life – it’s a marathon, not a sprint, so we need to pace ourselves and take our time. Life is so much more enjoyable when you can just enjoy the moment instead of trying to catch up to it.

People, People Who Need People, Are The Luckiest People In The World

Ok, so perhaps it is just the coming of spring that is making me all sentimental, but I’m about to get a little gushy on you. I was walking and talking with a friend this past Sunday afternoon, discussing some of the ways that my thinking has changed over the years. One such vein of thinking had to do with the concept of needing other people.

I used to think that it made me a strong, independent person when I used to say and think that I don’t need anyone. Sure I never denied that I “wanted” certain people in my life, but to me to ever “need” someone was a sign of weakness; it meant that you couldn’t be whole on your own or complete in your own self – somehow your identity was dependent on other people. Even the tired and overly drawn-out saying “you complete me” that Jerry Maguire made famous seemed like such a dangerous concept to me: if your sense of feeling complete is completely dependent on someone else, you constantly risk being incomplete, dissatisfied, and walking through life missing something.

Well, perhaps it is a sign of maturity, or perhaps it is just life experience that has taught me to think differently, but I am now a firm believer that we DO NEED people, and this is not a compromise of self-resilience, it is a basic fact that makes us human. The ability to disengage and make it through life alone is really contrary to human instinct and is seriously lonely. We are social beings for a reason. And let’s not forget that we still needed two human beings to come together to create us in the first place and then raise us past the age of complete dependence.

So, this tough girl is – GASP – letting her guard down and recognizing that perhaps needing isn’t such a bad concept. I am coming to this realization not because I’ve “fallen in love” or some sappy ridiculous notion like that (c’mon, let’s face facts, I’m still too immature for that :-P); this thought has occurred to me simply because I have come to realize that I am just happier living a life with important people in it than trying to go it alone.

Aside from feeling completely off-course when I was working my last retail job at Calvin Klein, I also felt miserable because I was incredibly alone. My roommates hardly ever saw me because I worked a polar opposite schedule to them, I never got to go home on weekends to visit family, I hardly ever had the time to hang out with friends, and I never really extended work relationships past the realm of work. I would get up, go to work, come home, repeat. I had very little time in my life to accommodate other things. Well, that’s not entirely true, I had plenty of time, but never time that matched up with others and their schedules.

There is a part of you that craves human interaction….a part that makes you human. I am a very independent person and completely fine being on my own, but every now and then I still get that desire to be around other people. John Donne said it best when he stated that “No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main” (Meditation XVII). When we do go solo for too long, the result is loneliness – I don’t care how strong and independent you are, if you’ve never been lonely, then you aren’t human.
 

This past April Fools I really discovered my complete appreciation for people. It was a small thing, but the office pranks (initiated by me of course – I thought we already established that I’m not mature?!?!?!) made me feel like an integral part of something. It was just an incredibly fun day filled with foolishness, true, but a display of appreciation and friendship towards others. I have been incredibly happy recently because of all of these people at work. I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know all of them, even if only superficially, and their presence in my life is a source of happiness. I am also incredibly grateful for absolutely everyone in my family, because I don’t even know who I would be and how I would get by without them. I also am unbelievably thankful for my friends (both old and new), because they are also a constant source of joy in my life. Can I survive without any of these people? Of course. But do I want to? Absolutely not. The truth is my quality of life would seriously be diminished with the absence of any of these people. Life is just truly a lot more meaningful with people in it that you care about and who care about you. As scary as the concept is, my life would indeed be incomplete without these integral human connections.