It’s Not A Deal If It’s Unnecessary

I want to preface this with an acknowledgement that I am not ‘holier than thou’ and I have obviously participated in capitalistic and materialistic events (cough cough Christmas), so I’m not pointing fingers. Even if I did, there would be four more pointed back at me. I just wanted to put a little thought out there because I’ve been bombarded all morning with messages of Black Friday deals that have made me feel introspective and actually quite sad.

I won’t condemn shopping because we all need some things: for example, I need toothpaste right now. I classify that as a need because if I don’t buy some I will smell, no one will want to be around me anymore, and my teeth will probably eventually decay and fall out. It’s an extreme picture, but you get the point.

Now, let’s say I need a new winter coat because the one I have is full of holes and won’t keep me warm anymore, and we all know that a good winter coat in Canada is a must. Ok, fine, I can classify that as a necessity. And maybe I want to buy one on Black Friday because it will be that much cheaper and I’m not made of money. All valid arguments, there is nothing wrong with that. What I have a problem with is the whole mentality behind Black Friday, and let’s throw Christmas into that mix too. These massive consumer holidays merely promote greed and the desire for ‘stuff’ that you don’t even need. There is no world wherein a flat screen tv or an xbox is a necessity; let’s get that straight right now. These consumer holidays promote a mentality of want in a society that really wants for nothing; and irony of ironies, it’s only a day after American Thanksgiving, a day when you reflect on everything that you have and are thankful for it. This focus on “I want” causes us to lose sight of what other people might actually need.

Let’s back up for a second here. Is it wrong to want things? I won’t go as far as saying that. There are definitely things that we like to have that we should be allowed to enjoy with our success. However, when the value of a thing outweighs the value of a human life….that’s just wrong to me. How many people stood in line in the cold waiting for the doors to open this morning? How many people got hurt or even died all for this insane pandemonium over wanting a thing? And what about the homeless man that was also out in the cold, and definitely not waiting to get into the store, did you give him any money? You don’t know him, but how much is his life worth to you? How much did you end up spending (NOT SAVING) on the items that you wanted? These are personal questions and I probably have no right to ask them, but I always find it shocking that we spend so much money around the holidays and yet we can’t spare the change in our pockets for someone who has nothing. We get a great deal on a plasma tv, but somehow sparing a $5 bill for a homeless person seems to be too much. I’m guilty of it too. I hate that I have become so accustomed to seeing so many homeless people on my way to work that I almost don’t even see them anymore. It makes me feel conditioned and ashamed.

Anytime I go out shopping I try to think of whether or not I really need the thing that I want to buy. I work hard for my money and I should be responsible with it. But also, I live in a position of privilege and so, in my opinion, my responsibility should stem much further than not wasting money on things that I don’t need. I have decided that I’m going to try something new this year. When I am about to spend money on something that is a want vs. a necessity, I am going to re-direct that money. Instead of buying new clothes, I can sponsor another child; instead of spending hundreds on Christmas gifts, I can buy a family a goat, which will give them a source of income and sustenance. When the choice is between giving a child an education or buying another pair of boots, shouldn’t the answer be clear?

Unfortunately…it’s not clear. I think that we all have a responsibility to each other, to all humanity. If I have food and the person beside me doesn’t, I should share it. We learn the value of sharing before we can even talk, so when did we start thinking that this little lesson doesn’t apply to us anymore?

I know that not everyone can afford to sponsor a child, but if you can afford a $5 Starbucks coffee, can you afford to spend $10 on mosquito netting or $15 for a fruit tree? If you are going to spend $100 on Christmas gifts for just one person in your family, is $50 for a sheep really too much? At the end of the day, the coffee will last about half an hour and the sweaters you just bought for your brother might last two years, but a fruit tree, a sheep, or a goat can change an entire family’s life forever. No I don’t work for Plan Canada and no I am not getting paid to say these things. And if you don’t like Plan Canada, then you can feel free to look into any other organization or effort. I just think that these Gifts of Hope are fantastic ideas. No one waits in line out in the cold to buy these gifts; it just doesn’t happen. But I’m doing my Black Friday shopping and Christmas shopping right here: https://plancanada.ca/GiftsofHope/products/1-All-gifts/.  

 

It Is What You Make It

I have neglected this personal blog on account of being so invested in my work blog. Isn't that often the case of what happens? You get so busy with work that you neglect the personal? I hope to kick this nasty habit while I'm still in my guppy career phase so that I don't become one of those people who is all work.

After all, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

So here is the latest update on the career front:

I've been very invested in networking as of late, going to every possible Elle Canada magazine event that I can. If you recall, I went to an event back in December and was able to have a nice long and encouraging talk with one of the beauty editors, Vanessa Craft. Well, it turns out that I did make some sort of impression, because she remembered me. Now, it is possible she remembers me because I had a long conversation with her and I'm a familiar face that keeps showing up to these events (that's what I hope), but it can also be quite possible that she remembers me because I'm the crazy girl who tried to add her on LinkedIn and sent her a message saying it was wonderful meeting her, and then months later sent a message saying I was hoping I would see her at last week's event. Hmmmm, well I'm going to choose to accept that it is the former and not the latter, since she came up to me smiling and said it was good to see me again. If it had been the latter, she probably would have avoided me at all costs right?

And this little scenario taught me a valuable lesson: It's all about how you see it and what you make of it.

As of late, as many of my close friends and family will attest, I've been going through a pretty bad 'down time.' I'm not going to kill the mood by throwing out the scary words like depression, but I always explain, when asked how things are going, that I'm doing well, been having my ups and downs, such is life. I will admit it's been a lot more down than up lately, but I'm always optomistic that if I keep trying as hard as I do, I will propel myself upwards again.

But being down is really a matter of how you are seeing things and what you are making of your situation. The doom and gloom of living a life of unattained dreams is bound to get to any human being from time to time, sometimes even make you lose sight of who you are, what you are capable of, and what you are striving for. I was at one of these points, even telling people that I wasn't sure that I could succeed at anything anymore. What if me thinking I'm good at writing has all been in my head? Regardless of writing awards, a full scholarship to complete my MA, and my countless internship positions where I was told how good my writing was......somehow, this poison seeped in. I spent some cliche days lying in bed not wanting to get out.....yeah, it was really that bad. And not just because of a seemingly non-existent career dead-end, but because of my serious lack of a personal life and an active social life too.

One of these days, while I was lying in bed pittying myself (and completely conscious of the fact that I was doing so) a friend asked me point blank "so what are you going to do about it." I love my friends, my really close friends, because they never sugar coat things. Tough love is indeed love, and I think that it is sometimes the best way to show that you care. Anyway, I realized that I was upset about my situation and thought that I was working to change it, but really, what I needed to change the most was my frame of mine: how I perceived the situation and what I was going to make of it. One of my biggest pit falls has actually been being selfish. I know, what a shocker! I go to networking events thinking about what they can do for me, not how I am going to contribute and open up an equal exchange, and I get upset about opportunities that don't pay and don't seem to be much different than all of the other experience I already have on my resume. Two things are wrong with this scenario: I am thinking about me, what I get out of this, and I'm thinking that I'm entitled, that after all of my education and work experience I should be in a full time paid position in my field right now. These two things will only ever lead to significant unhappiness and a spiralling circle that get you absolutely nowhere. It's not always easy to fix, but I've already tried to change my mindset and I plan to go to the next networking event and not ask for something: for an editor to tell me about how they got their start, to offer me advice, to see that I am amazing and really want an job.....instead, I'm going to offer something, perhaps help with the next event, what ever it may be.

The way that I have been thinking is nothing but toxic poison that robs you of life's happiness. This was made clear when I belittled my latest opportunity, sucking all of the hope and happiness out of it. I was recently hired on with Fusia magazine to be an Editorial Assistant. I jumped at the opportunity, because it is in fact the title I want in the field that I want. But then, I started doubting that this was a great opportunity because it didn't seem to get me further ahead (meaning I'm still in my day job because the pay is only 1 months rent for each issue, and we only publish two print issues a years....so this is all done on my own time). Because it wasn't a way to move out of my current job and full tine and permanently into my field, I started seeing this as another unpaid internship, and look how far those got me. But as I was lying there in my bed of misery, I realized.....I was originally excited about it, and it's going to keep me writing so I have something to keep my portfolio up to date and relevant, among many other things, and it's going to look good on my resume (the only magazine experience that doesn't say intern beside the title) and will most likely help me secure another Editorial Assistant position. Going even further than that, who's to say that I can't be the one to help turn this magazine into a monthly print issue and an even more reputable publication? So, while I saw this as yet another one of the same situations, I put limits on what I would get out of it and on myself and what I could do for it or bring to the table. That is never a good frame of mind. In order to be successful at anything, you need to ignore the glass ceiling and be willing to shatter it.

Regardless of how I may have felt at the time, looking back, in all of my internships I made a lasting impression. I am a hard worker and I'm good at what I do. I received some confirmation of this when I got a reference letter from my old boss and editor at Fashion Weekly. I was touched by some of the things she had to say about me. And my relationship with my old editor from Uncharted Sounds, one that has blossomed into a fantastic friendship long after the work relationship is over, speaks for itself. I've also learned valuable things about my abilities and about the industry I'm trying to break into from all of these positions. I'm still not an advocate of unpaid internships, but I will say that at this point I am confident about my abilities to not only do the job at hand, but to excel at it, because I already have in the past. This may seem like a small statement, but this is actually quite important, because one of the reasons I was so down was because I lost my confidence in myself . When all of your accomplishments seem to be in the past and it feels like the present is full of failures and rejections, it's understandable that you may feel no longer equipped to succeed, and there's nothing more damaging to a person's success than that. Dare to dream and dare to be confident in that dream.  The only person who can make you give up is yourself.

I feel like I could go on and on about this, but I won't.....any more than I already have. No one wants to read that much. But for those who read this blog to feel a connection to the struggle, I will just leave you with this. When you feel completely stuck and like there's no way out, think to yourself....am I doing absolutely everything that I could be doing right now to make the most of my present situation? Have I learned everything I need to learn from this situation? Have I given back as much as I've expected out? It's all well and good to look ahead, but there are so many things that you need to do in the present first. Just because you can't see exactly yet how it fits in, doesn't mean it won't end up to be an integral part of your career path. Aside from giving me office experience, my administration position has given me valuable insight on networking and the job application process, and it has allowed me to start a blog, which looks great on my resume and helps the company (remember, what you can do for the company not what the company can do for you).

Perhaps this new Editorial Assistant position is the key to unlocking some of the doors in my way, and maybe it isn't, maybe it will be just one more thing to add to my already very long resume, but that doesn't mean that I can't get absolutely everything I possibly can out of it and offer just as much back. My first step is to blog for the magazine too and increase their online presence and social media traffic. I'll let you all know how this pans out.

Are you missing out on life?

Over these past two weeks I have been using my time more wisely, mostly because I was forced to. We were switching over our internet/cable provider, so we were cut off. Not being able to watch tv or stream videos/watch Netflix was probably one of the best things to happen to me in a long time, even though I was convinced that I wouldn’t survive without it. It actually served to be quite an eye opener of how I spend my time, and therefore my life.

I can’t believe how much of my life I was wasting.

My Morning Routine:

During my morning getting ready for work I would usually listen to music, trying to get myself into a good mood for the day. Then, during my morning commute I would just sit there and listen to music. My commute is 40 minutes. That’s almost an hour and a half of time that I would pretty much do nothing with each day. What I changed was very simple, but it has made a world of difference. When I’m getting ready in the morning, I now listen to my German learning software. Then when I’m on the bus and the Go train, I go through my little German Lesson’s language learning book which conveniently is quite small and portable. Sometimes I do the same thing on my commute home, or I relax by reading a book. Mind you, I’m still listening to music while I do this (I have a brain that allows me to do both and not be distracted), so I still get myself into a good mood for the day.

My Evening Routine:

Before the tv abstinence, I would pretty much just come home, cook dinner, and then sit down in front of the tv to eat it…..and would get stuck there until I decided to shower and get ready for bed. This was a considerable waste of time. Now, when I get home I still cook dinner, but I get right on my TESL course. Just by taking an hour or two after work, I am quickly making my way through this course and am on my way to having a certification under my belt that might help further my career. Even if it doesn’t, the fact that I am now spending my free time learning (languages or new skills) makes me feel like I am accomplishing something…I’m challenging myself. I am the type of person who can easily begin to feel depressed about my life if I have no challenges and don’t feel accomplished. I realized that if I’m not feeling challenged by my work-life, then I must challenge myself in my personal life.

Personal life….that has actually been one of the most eye opening things of all. As I said in a post or two before this, now that I was on a regular work schedule, I was trying to find enjoyment in my free time and was finding things to do and spending time with friends and family. I cannot stress this enough….this is the most rewarding thing that I’ve ever done for myself. My personal relationships matter to me very much and I am willing to invest the time in them. On top of that, I’m finding ways to do this that also engage other passions of mind, i.e. my creative side. I’ve gone to two Paint Nite’s so far, and they have both been wonderful. I get to spend time with my friends, but it’s not in someone’s living room watching tv or in a movie where we can’t talk, it’s in an environment where we not only talk and catch up, but we are actually creating something. Being able to engage in something creative is therapy for me! I am a creative person, so that needs an outlet. I also went to a cooking class with a friend this past week and that was equally a wonderful creative outlet and an opportunity to learn and create while also being able to socialize and catch up. Despite the fact that going out to these events can sometimes make me quite tired at work the next day, they are unbelievably worth it and I never miss an opportunity. With no distraction of tv’s, and meeting in an environment and for an activity that keeps our phones out of our hands and wherein we can actual engage with each other, I have never felt more like I am making good use of my time. Even today on my lunch break I was on facetime with a friend in Manitoba. You have to find the time for the people who mean a lot for you and for the things that give your life meaning, otherwise what are you doing with your life?

I was inspired to write this post because of a video (link is below) that my cousin shared on Facebook, one that everyone is probably familiar with now. I realized that it has definitely become a problem that there are so many distractions in our lives that we no longer effectively communicate and we miss out on things all around us.

How much of my life have I missed out on when I was at home watching tv? How many people have I missed out on meeting because I wasn’t in a certain place, or I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings, or even because I was giving off this aura of disinterest (that I just wanted to sit there and listen to my music and not talk to anyone). I was on the bus yesterday and the bus driver talked to us and joked with us over the PA system the entire ride. Some people seemed put off by the disruption to their ordinarily silent commute home from work, but most people were delightfully surprised. An entire bus of strangers began engaging with each other in a communal conversation started by one person who didn’t care if everyone thought he was crazy. When did it become crazy to speak and have a conversation? Why do we not even want to make eye contact with each other? How unbelievably lonely is that kind of life!?!?!?!?!? I love meeting new people and having out of the blue conversations with strangers. I don’t want to be numb and merely pass through life…..I want to live life!!!!!

Me living life begins with me taking charge of it, actively working towards goals. So I decide to learn a language, or I decide to take a cooking class, I join a book club…..these are all very simple things that anyone can do, you just have to take the time to do it. I used to believe that I was too busy and didn’t have the time to do much in my life. Then I realized I have plenty of time if I cut out a lot of bad habits, like vegging out in front of the tv. There seems to be a lot of time in the day now, and the possibilities are endless.

 “time is a non-renewable resource, so it’s better to use it as efficiently as possible”

This is the video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhbZJ_2zHco

Is That Why They Call It The Human Race?

As I was walking to catch my bus today to go to work this morning, I finally spotted the woodpecker that I have heard for days now. It’s funny because I always hear him, but I haven’t been able to see him. Today though, I finally caught a glimpse of the little guy. I was pretty amazed that such a small bird could make such a loud noise. He seriously wakes up the neighborhood with his little construction work. It was nice to finally put a face to the noise. I’ve always found these birds to be kind of fascinated. I also always wonder how they don't constantly have a headache, but I guess that's a different conversation altogether.

So why am I telling you about this bird? Well, for starters they are just really cool and I like that we have one on our street. But, more specifically, this is about time management. Although I am in general a punctual person and don’t make a habit of showing up late, there are times when I cut things pretty close. Last week I spent most of it rushing to get to work and then rushing to catch the train home. I hadn’t spotted my little friend because I was always running, in a hurry to get somewhere, I had no time to stop and appreciate the things around me.

This morning, however, I was early, so I was able to take my time. I not only got a chance to finally see the little noisy neighbour, but actually had a pleasant conversation with a neighbour walking her dog. There are so many things you can miss out on when you are running late. What is more, I just kept on thinking throughout the day how much more pleasant my day was without all of the rushing. I was in such a good mood and I didn’t feel anxious and I wasn’t upset at the person in front of me who just wasn’t walking fast enough. I wonder how much unnecessary stress, anxiety, and anger we bring on ourselves simply because we haven’t given ourselves enough time in the morning to get everything done that we need to. I even had time this morning to have a proper breakfast and a full cup of tea. That never happens!

If I know that a pleasant morning can change my entire day, merely by changing my mood and outlook, why do I not ensure that this is part of my regular practice? Is it really worth spending an extra 10 minutes in bed when the result is an entire day of anxiety? Definitely not. Although we can’t help running late and rushing from time to time, I’m sure that it is much better for our physical and mental health if we just slow things down and do them in a timely fashion. And really, the stress free morning actually helped me deal with the jam packed and at moments stressful day at work. Believe it or not, even once I was done work and coming home, I didn’t feel as utterly exhausted as I usually do. I think that once you take a lot of the stress and anxiety out of it, that sheer feeling of being exhausted from the day dissipates.

And even still, maybe I just had a good day, but I think I’m going to work this into my schedule. I could use more days filled with stress-free walks to work and taking time to look at birds and talk with strangers. I see too many people in the city looking so angry and worn-out all the time. Perhaps a simple solution (though not a cure-all) is just to better manage our time so that we can slow things down. Being part of the human race doesn’t mean we need to hustle and bustle our way throughout life – it’s a marathon, not a sprint, so we need to pace ourselves and take our time. Life is so much more enjoyable when you can just enjoy the moment instead of trying to catch up to it.

People, People Who Need People, Are The Luckiest People In The World

Ok, so perhaps it is just the coming of spring that is making me all sentimental, but I’m about to get a little gushy on you. I was walking and talking with a friend this past Sunday afternoon, discussing some of the ways that my thinking has changed over the years. One such vein of thinking had to do with the concept of needing other people.

I used to think that it made me a strong, independent person when I used to say and think that I don’t need anyone. Sure I never denied that I “wanted” certain people in my life, but to me to ever “need” someone was a sign of weakness; it meant that you couldn’t be whole on your own or complete in your own self – somehow your identity was dependent on other people. Even the tired and overly drawn-out saying “you complete me” that Jerry Maguire made famous seemed like such a dangerous concept to me: if your sense of feeling complete is completely dependent on someone else, you constantly risk being incomplete, dissatisfied, and walking through life missing something.

Well, perhaps it is a sign of maturity, or perhaps it is just life experience that has taught me to think differently, but I am now a firm believer that we DO NEED people, and this is not a compromise of self-resilience, it is a basic fact that makes us human. The ability to disengage and make it through life alone is really contrary to human instinct and is seriously lonely. We are social beings for a reason. And let’s not forget that we still needed two human beings to come together to create us in the first place and then raise us past the age of complete dependence.

So, this tough girl is – GASP – letting her guard down and recognizing that perhaps needing isn’t such a bad concept. I am coming to this realization not because I’ve “fallen in love” or some sappy ridiculous notion like that (c’mon, let’s face facts, I’m still too immature for that :-P); this thought has occurred to me simply because I have come to realize that I am just happier living a life with important people in it than trying to go it alone.

Aside from feeling completely off-course when I was working my last retail job at Calvin Klein, I also felt miserable because I was incredibly alone. My roommates hardly ever saw me because I worked a polar opposite schedule to them, I never got to go home on weekends to visit family, I hardly ever had the time to hang out with friends, and I never really extended work relationships past the realm of work. I would get up, go to work, come home, repeat. I had very little time in my life to accommodate other things. Well, that’s not entirely true, I had plenty of time, but never time that matched up with others and their schedules.

There is a part of you that craves human interaction….a part that makes you human. I am a very independent person and completely fine being on my own, but every now and then I still get that desire to be around other people. John Donne said it best when he stated that “No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main” (Meditation XVII). When we do go solo for too long, the result is loneliness – I don’t care how strong and independent you are, if you’ve never been lonely, then you aren’t human.
 

This past April Fools I really discovered my complete appreciation for people. It was a small thing, but the office pranks (initiated by me of course – I thought we already established that I’m not mature?!?!?!) made me feel like an integral part of something. It was just an incredibly fun day filled with foolishness, true, but a display of appreciation and friendship towards others. I have been incredibly happy recently because of all of these people at work. I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know all of them, even if only superficially, and their presence in my life is a source of happiness. I am also incredibly grateful for absolutely everyone in my family, because I don’t even know who I would be and how I would get by without them. I also am unbelievably thankful for my friends (both old and new), because they are also a constant source of joy in my life. Can I survive without any of these people? Of course. But do I want to? Absolutely not. The truth is my quality of life would seriously be diminished with the absence of any of these people. Life is just truly a lot more meaningful with people in it that you care about and who care about you. As scary as the concept is, my life would indeed be incomplete without these integral human connections.  

I am Painting Beautiful Flowers and Checking Things Off of My Bucket List

Despite starting the new job and telling myself that it’s a step in the right direction and that it has left me a heck of a lot more financially stable than I have ever been, I went through a bit of a rough week last week. I was getting over a bad cold (which never helps things) and I was feeling stuck and directionless again. I began to doubt whether this move was really going to help me, and I became restless. Obviously it isn’t exactly what I want to do, so there are obviously going to be moments when I don’t particularly like what I am doing. I have so many things on my bucket list that I want to accomplish, both career oriented and personal goals, and I keep on feeling like I am so far from achieving them.

Well, that’s my main problem; I am always so concerned with where things are going that I tend to miss out on the present. I spend so much time worrying about the future and feeling anxious about the fact that I can’t clearly see how I am going to achieve my goals and get into that dream career, that I make myself miserable on a daily basis. It’s true that knowing you have a problem and doing something to fix that problem are two very different things, but I am actively trying to fix it, because I also realized that life is a whole lot more enjoyable if I stop looking around at what others have or have accomplished and comparing myself to them. It is much better to embrace the good things about your present circumstance than to dwell on the things that still aren’t what you want them to be.

Often my problem stems from feeling unaccomplished and like I am not moving forward, mostly because I haven’t set any smaller attainable goals for myself. This past week I decided to rectify that. Yes, yes…..I want to get into publishing, and yes I’ve still been applying, but all of the applications lately all stipulate a minimum 1 year of office experience. That alone tells me that I am exactly where I need to be right now. So, once I accepted that, I decided to think about what other dreams I had of accomplishing that I as of yet haven’t. Two that immediately came to mind were getting my TESL certification (yes, back when I was sure I was going to Thailand this was at the top of my list), and I have always said that I would like to speak at least 5 languages. Well, why put off to tomorrow what you can do today? After all, procrastination is the thief of time right? I signed up for a TESL certification course that I am currently completing in the evenings after work, and I have acquired language learning software for French, German, and Italian. The first I need to brush up on, the second I want to keep practicing so I don’t lose it, and the third I just want to learn for me. I’ve been telling people how much I miss school and how much I miss learning, but the truth is that you don’t need to be in an institution to keep learning. Part of my restlessness and unhappiness too was that I wasn’t challenging myself, so I think these will provide a good amount of stimuli and challenge for the time being.

This made me realise a really beneficial perk to my job – having a predictable schedule. Since I know that I work the exact same hours every day, this allows me to plan to use my free time for other things. I’ve made more time with friends, going out and trying things that I’ve always wanted to: for example, my best friend Alysha and I went to a paint night the other week where we drank wine, talked, laughed, and created a beautiful painting. It was almost therapeutic for me, because my creative outlet has been non-existent as of late and the writer in me is starving for any form of artistic expression. This served as a nudging reminder for about the billionth time that I really need to start writing that book, but that’s another story for another day. To come back to the point I have rambled away from, having a set schedule has actually given me the freedom to fit more fun and fulfillment into my life, so how can I not be happy about that? Life, after all, is a lot more than work, and even when I do get that dream job, if I haven’t figured out a way to incorporate other things into my life by then, I still won’t be happy.  

Those are all things outside of work, but I’ve decided to try and challenge myself in my work too so that I am not so miserable about how I am spending my work hours either. On Monday I decided to challenge myself at work by simply enjoying my job for what it is, enjoying the people I work with, and kicking butt at my job. I am all settled in now and I’ve got a good routine going. I’ve also been only looking at the positive, and I’ve been a beam of sunshine at work, which I know everyone has noticed (especially after seeing me miserable and sick). Most of all though, I decided to use my work to create something to challenge me: I created a blog for my company. It gives me the writing outlet that I need and keeps me from feeling like I am not doing anything remotely close to my field, and on the plus side it benefits the company as well. I spent most of Monday working on it, and I have to say I am actually pretty proud of it. Not only will it keep me challenged and stimulated at work, but it will also add more news related writing to my portfolio; a definite plus if/when I apply to newspapers again.

Yes indeed things are looking a lot brighter these days, but only because I choose to look on the bright side. I still have people trying to put me down with their negativity on a daily basis, but to be honest….I hate being miserable. Things are good right now; there is really nothing to complain about. So yes, maybe I am overqualified and way too educated for the job I’m currently doing, but I am gaining the necessary experience I need, I am sitting in a financially comfortable position, and I am adding other things to my life that is making it more meaningful and worthwhile. There is really no stopping me from incorporating anything into my life that will make me feel happy and fulfilled: whether that is making time to write, to learn a new language, to gain a certification or take publishing classes, to take dance classes even, to do yoga, or just to spend some valuable time with friends having a good time. You can always focus on what isn’t happening, what isn’t going right, but then you are missing out on so much of your life and so many opportunities to be happy. I have made the conscious choice to be happy, and that is after all the number one thing on my bucket list.