My excuse, like usual, for not
writing sooner is that I have been really busy. Now that this Disney movie is
done and Degrassi is on hiatus, I am finding myself with more time, time that I
hope to use to write. This same excuse has in fact always been my excuse not to
write: “I don’t have enough time” or “I’m too busy.” Why am I making this
excuse? The majority of people, regardless of how busy their lives may be, find
the time to do the things they love, so why not me? Even when I was unemployed
and sitting at home all day with plenty of time on my hands, I wasn’t writing.
I’ve had well developed ideas for years now of what my first novel will be, but
I don’t seem to discipline myself to sit down and write it.
I am venturing to determine that
this is not simply a matter of laziness or a lack of will on my part, although
those may indeed factor in, perhaps instead these excuses stem from fear. When
I was in school and writing it was always just for fun, but now that school is
finished and I am trying in some form or another to make a career out of it…there
is a notion that this is for real now, and that means that I can fail. And yet,
perhaps while in school I never took my writing seriously not just because I
was busy with school work and couldn’t focus enough on developing my craft, but
because I have been scared all along of failing at what I want to do most with
my life. However, if you never try, then you’ve already failed.
Of course, like anything you are
trying to get back into, you need to ease back into it. When I take a break
from yoga and decide to go back, I never jump into a 3 hour moksha class, I
start again at home to re-train my muscles and then take shorter classes and
work my way back up to where I was before. Like my atrophied muscles, my writing
craft is perhaps a little out of shape. So, I am proposing a challenge for
myself to help me get back into the swing of things: a 30 day writing
challenge. Although I will probably start this sooner, my idea is to force
myself throughout the entire month of September to write something every day.
Since I can’t even dedicate myself to my blog every day, this will actually be
a challenge.
I have come to two conclusions: (1.)
that I have been thinking this story through in my mind for far too long and it
is far past time that I get it down on paper, and (2.) that I can’t really call
myself a writer if I’m never actually writing. I am certainly not naïve enough
to believe that I can get a rough draft of a novel done in a month, but if I
can even get a few good chapters underway then perhaps the task at hand won’t
seem so daunting. It is time that I get my butt in gear and turn my thoughts
into something tangible, and since I already have connections at a literary
agency that I can send a draft to, getting something down on paper for them to
see is the next logical step and it may be just the right step I need to take
to get closer to where I am trying to go. I will try to keep this blog updated
on my progress as the month goes on. Wish me luck and success!
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