So This Is Life?

I haven’t written in a little while because I haven’t had anything worthwhile happen to me lately that seemed interesting enough to write about. My days have been progressively more and more boring and I perpetually feel like I am still waiting for my life to start.

So the basic run down:

The guy from the publishing company never did email me back. Who says “I will contact you before the weekend and set up a time to meet with you next week” if they aren’t going to follow through? Again, I understand that people are busy and all, but this is the equivalent of telling children that Santa doesn’t exist…it’s building a dream and hope within someone and then throwing them crashing to the ground as you pull the rug from underneath them. Don’t act like you are going to give someone a shot and give them false hope if you really don’t have the intentions. But, again, I realize that I am inconsequential enough to know it would be easy to fall through the cracks unnoticed, even after a few follow up emails. Such is life.

And here is my problem. Life is completely overrated: your worth is very infinitesimal and there is very little on a day to day basis to get excited about. And then when there is something to get excited about, it usually doesn’t pull through. Sigh. While in school I felt that I had significant worth, there were almost daily reasons to get excited (and I know that receiving affirmation by getting good grades or getting accepted to present a paper at a conference are all trivial and nerdy to most people, but you can’t deny the feeling of worth and significance attributed to them). Anyway, while in school I never felt bored, always felt like I was accomplishing something, and always felt like I was going somewhere in life. Now that I’m actually faced with “real life” I feel like I’m going nowhere. There is no climbing of any corporate ladder. I can’t even see the ladder from where I’m standing. Did I take a wrong turn somewhere?

Everyone tells you that it will take time to get your break. I know it does, I guess it would just be nice to feel like I’m still moving towards something instead of standing still. And it would be even nicer to have a group of friends in the same situation as me, all of us going through it together. Most of my friends are already moving somewhere in their lives, whether it’s work, more school, marriage, children, etc. It doesn’t really feel like anyone else is standing still except for me.

But really, it could always be worse right? What do I really have to complain about? I do have a job, even if it’s not ideal. I just got another temporary job, at a retail store (I’m forbidden to use the name, says so in my contract). And I have to say I am thankful for this. It’s not what I studied to do, and I don’t need two degrees to do what I’m doing now, but it is what it is.

So this is why I say that life is overrated. It is what it is, and you just have to live with it. I’m dying for a little excitement, or at least some movement in some direction. Is that so wrong?